Eight more reasons squirrels WILL NOT vote for Obama

As if there wasn't sufficient reason already, here are eight more of them.

The Spirit Lives On!

Our Executive Experience Massively Exceeds That of Obama/Biden

Mr. McCains ingenious selection of Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidental running mate has miraculously increased the executive experience of the ticket over that of Obama/Biden by what is actually an infinite amount since neither Obama or Biden have any executive experience.

What's with the left cheek?

When asked why he apparently stores his acorns in his left cheek, but not in his right, John McCain replied, "The nuts are all on the left!"

Bristol's Palin's Baby - Another Gift From God

Bristol Palin is such an avid pro-lifer that she decided that the best way to honor life was to create a little bit of it. We honor her for this.

Bristol has been quoted as saying, "It was really pretty messy, but I just shut my eyes and pretended it was Jesus infusing me with his spirit, and I think it really was him, because, as the conceptual process drew to a close, I saw God"

God has given us a gift...

...who is clearly on our side. And I am not referring to Sarah Palin. Our gift is named Gustav. Now the extremely unpopular George Bushytail, and the even more unpopular Nuts Cheney have a plausible excuse for not attending our national convention in St. Paul, Minnesota. People just don't need to be reminded that our candidate is in the same party, and supporting the same economic policies as George and Nuts. Squirrels for McCain have a minor reservation about Sarah Palin... she is a lifetime member of the NRA, and I have heard stories that in her youth she amused herself by taking potshots at squirrels. Lest I be accused of making stuff up, I will admit that I have not been able to verify this rumor yet, but Dimitri will be doing some fact checking as he traverses Alaska (if he is able to make that driftwood connection.)

We now have our own blog...

Check out the latest relevant news regarding our Presidential candidate John McCain and his really experienced Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin (Unfortunately some of Sarah's experience included taking potshots at squirrels as a youth. But we are able to overlook these transgressions since they occured over 5 years ago.)

We hope to be interviewing our candidates soon and will be publishing excerpts from those interview here.